Week $: Let Go

(Disclaimer: I may talk about you. I may talk about a conversation we had. Don't take it personal. (hehe I'll even admit, thats a load of B.S.) Of course you can take it personally. Just talk to me about it and don't be a passive aggressive asshole kthanksbye :) )


I shamefully neglected my blog this past week. I guess I didn't learn anything XD

Not true. I think last week's lesson was on giving up. I'm going to give up on making everyone else feel comfortable at my own expense. That being said. I have to retract something I said.

I so delicately stated: You are gay. I wish you would just come out to everyone already.

I was putting myself in this person's shoes. I realized that it is very crude to request someone to "come out". What business is it of mine? NONE. I felt foolish after posting it. That was the ONLY thing I regret posting. I don't want to edit the blog. That's not fair. I want this blog to accurately depict the writer. Those were my feelings. They were wrong. We all make mistakes. MOVING ON.

This week's lesson was AMAZING. I grew in LEAPS and BOUNDS. I learned to LET GO. Well, I did for one night. I stopped worrying about what everyone else was thinking. I decided I wasn't going to apologize for anything I didn't personally do myself. Most importantly, I learned for that one night to feel pretty fucking awesome about myself. Yeah, I don't think i looked my best. Yeah, I was aware that I was in a bar with girls 1/3 my size. Yeah, I was SOBER and having fun. Okay, that last one makes me sound like a lush.

I sometimes drink to give my mind a break. I will be present with my friends one minute. As soon as someone looks at me wierd I release the hounds. Yes, blood hounds live in my mind. They surface any negative thoughts I may have buried. They are good at their job. I am no longer present. I am in a much darker place. Alcohol allows sleeping dogs to lie.

This night I chucked that theory out the window. I had a good time because I decided to have a good time.

I met another fattie. She was beautiful. Confident. She didn't give a f*** what others thought of her. The shocker of it all was, she was 40!! Seriously, she looked 27-28 years old. SO FREAKING YOUNG.

I have a deep love for fat girls. We 'get' each other. It's awesome to meet someone else who is fat and doesn't let ish get to them. Fat girls who don't let their fatness hold them back, YOU are my HERO! I know my anti-fat friends are going to disagree with my views. It's okay. Not every single one of my friends have to agree with me. As long as we can agree to disagree : )

Well, that night was fun. I sang my heart out. I laughed HARD. I gained a bit of confidence back that I once had lost.

Go me.

peace & blessings
XD